Half Past Seven.

Ceska the cleverest baby boy.

2007-02-22T04:52:00.000+08:00

It molded me.

2007-02-16T05:25:00.001+08:00

One of the best Hugh-Grant-type comedy, in the unforgetable not-so-good V Day.

2007-02-15T04:22:00.000+08:00

I love the movie so much, but have a real messy V day. Pls let me write it later.

2007-02-01T02:19:00.001+08:00

All time classic revisit.

2007-01-17T21:11:00.000+08:00

Cowboy boy boy.

2006-12-13T04:02:00.000+08:00

I want those old fashioned clothing brands to produce doggy clothings long ago, and I wait, and I wait.

Then I find Citysuper has some real nice one available. Yes, this time, Wrangle's trademark overall. What impress me is their dedication to the finishing (real like a human jeans), choice of fabric (light with good washing effect), and details (those buttons etc).

Carter: "Pa, though u like the overall, I don't luv it much actually..."

Carter: "Pa..."

Carter: "And don't stare at one's hip when he's drinking, ok?"

Curtis: "Pa, am I cute or a clown?"

Me: "No, U r not a clown, my boy boy is a lovely sleeping cowboy."

It's a pity I got know u so late.

2006-11-22T02:34:00.000+08:00

Maximilian Hecker has sweet voice, has real talent to write good melody, and has some album covers that I think are the best among the record history.

And the cinematography of the Daylight MV is, just, pretty.

The retrieved beloved sexist band.

2006-11-11T19:44:00.000+08:00

Yes, Guns N' Roses.

Muse for the 06's Number(N)ine collection, Axl the god of swinging body, Slash's guitar solo being the best vocal already, everything, everything, Those good old bad-boy days.

I am willing to be anyone, if u r happy.

2006-11-02T06:09:00.000+08:00

U know what I mean. And he's quite cool actually.

The AD of the year.

2006-10-17T02:43:00.000+08:00

I love it so so much.

From her I saw u.

2006-09-19T05:33:00.000+08:00

Remember this name: Charlotte Gainsbourg, daughter of the coolest dirty old man Serge Gainsbourg. She's born to be the the next big thing. The new album 5:55 will be my best buy till now in the year of 2006.

Clips from her new album. Lovely cool.

The Science of Sleep, wow! Michel Gondry writes the script and directs, Gael García Bernal the gentlest actor of this generation that I love, and, Charlotte Gainsbourg.

Look at the cute pony, the sweet art direction, and the lovely credit design in the trailer.

Dirty old man with his daughter.

It's all about timing.

2006-09-18T03:54:00.000+08:00

My dear told me many not-so-happy things of her best frd. It's all about, well, timing.

And when I am listening to my dear in midnite, I stare at the gentle wooden alarm clock, a gift I love and treasure so much, the first gift to be precise.

Yes, it's all about timing. The right timing to get the right person neglecting all trouble, the right timing to break, the right timing to try without stupid and time consuming hesitation, the right timing to not being regret, the right timing to kiss, the right timing to touch, the right timing to suck, the right timing to bite, the right timing for intercourse (if u enjoy I write frank), the right timing to have learn how to love and protect a childwoman wholeheartedly from now on.

To get rid of unhappiness, tragedy and disaster, u have to step back, think deep, and choose the right timing to do the right thing. (Yes, I am writing for u to read).

*******

An art indeed.

*******

P.S. (1) Park, when u look at my old very old iPod 3G, u know how I want to buy 2 80GB enhanced 5th generation iPods for my dear and me. U owe me now.

P.S. (2) Eric, no need to worry about yr comix, u can see they sleep well besides my bed now, though I still haven't finish the 1st episode.

Launched.

2006-09-06T03:01:00.000+08:00

www.redderdoor.com

Credit must be given to Snake Ming.

Thx, man.

My Book written on my body.

2006-08-26T06:07:00.000+08:00

I think u all know my dad was a Royal Navy in the past, and I was into tattoo when I was very young.

Apart from my 5 tattoos, I will have new important ones on next sunday (yes, I hope to have them on this sunday, but the sifu is fully booked already...and i think u all know I have 4 lovely doggy named Carter Curtis Casey Ceska, though Cory passed away and he's in my other tattoo already).

-------

In tattoo, I record everything crucial in my life. My book written on my body.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

2006-08-25T02:32:00.000+08:00

I have the perfect tmr breakfast I want for long. And I don't mind they r for my breakfast, lunch and even dinner again and again and again and again.

Yamazaki's white bread, potato salad, and Galbani's prosciutto cotto.

"Mmm...yummy, yummy." Boxer says.

The nite.

2006-08-13T20:35:00.000+08:00

No sound, no wind, no people, no drunk, and no breath for twice.

Rabbit.

2006-08-09T04:28:00.000+08:00

Big rounded-eyes rabbit, is the cutest one, from what I know during my 33 yrs.

The Earliest Morning.

2006-08-07T01:10:00.000+08:00

Finally, the Ikea bookshelves arrived HK (just $390 for each, don't think, buy it!), and they r my long-waited bedside cabinets, and they r where belongs to them now.

Sometimes that's not the time to wait courts, but the accidental chance to meet courts. I remember I go check some writing table in the past for my new home, and at the end I booked and bought this cabinet.

Never say never.

*******

We have too many chances to come across a book, a movie, a table, a chair, a cabinet, a doggy or even a person. My attitude is, try it. U never know what suits u most if u don't try. And I believe it, or else my sleep won't be so sweet tonite.

Ethan Hawke (apart from Johnny Depp, and Jimmy Dean, he's the one I like most, as a person and as a person) wrote his first fiction by the title "The Hottest State", and I have "The Earliest Morning" today. I don't mind it becomes my first fiction's title, it's cool and meaningful, didn't it?

I woke up at 930am (half an hour later than I originally planned...), that's my earliest morning to wake for Sunday, okok, even for normal days (okokok, u all know that). Carter & Curtis looked at me and moaned : "Come on Papa, gives us a break and let us sleep in your hug, pls..." And my doggy boys know why I woke so early later.

*******

And I have an exciting and enjoyable Sunday today (to be precise, 11 hrs). What's more can I ask for?

And actually, I prefer HK's more than Taiwan's, to let you know it clearly.

Wide shot. Yes, I love Bert the dolly don't ask me why. Like and love has no concrete reason to be written actually.

Medium shot. Look at them! The 2 lovely cabinets sleep well in my room, besides my bed now.

And that little lovely thing I stole tonite smells good.

*******

Hope u enjoy today. And hope N enjoys her days too.

From grey and on and on.

2006-08-05T02:05:00.000+08:00

My most important woman till now, apart from my mum, N, will get marry today. I wish she will be the prettiest bride (and I am sure she will be, I never doubt it).

*******

To grow is to learn accepting.

Denmark, my Denmark!

2006-08-04T04:50:00.000+08:00

Someone I rate real high told me many things abt her Denmark trip, the place I am addicted, not for it's design aspect, but for my dad and our family story.

And I wanna show u all my 30-yrs Denmark image in mind now.

Denmark has so many good, if not the best, furniture and chair designers, but this old comfy chair has the biggest appeal to me: just sit down there, and my sunday will be an enjoyable one. P.S. It's not a designer chair, it's just an old chair I love.

I never hide Kay Bojesen is my beloved furn/toy designer. He stay young, no, child to be precise, even when he's an old man. This monkey I know I will buy many many pieces some day.

My mum still places this statue in my old home, even my dad left us almost 30 yrs now. I loved to touch the mermaid's nipples when I was very young.

When I was young, there's Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck inside Ocean Park. Weird enough when u got known that they r mutually exclusive enemy now. Where's Mickey Mouse? He's taking this photo of my cousin and me and he's standing besides my dad (whose looking at us smiling) holding the instant camera, and asked my dad for $10 after taking it. So I love Ducky more as he didn't ask my dad for money.

Monkey and Doggy.

2006-07-29T06:44:00.000+08:00

My working partner and best frd, 4, gives me some Youtube links tonite. I cant help to watch all the clips there.

The clips r not erotic (though we both like to watch), not design stuffs (for our works), but, lovely animals (yes, both of us love pets so much that we can be good partners, and yes, he's a cat lover and i am a doggy slave for life).

From Monkey and Doggy, I find love, wit and dignity there.

For the one whose hard working, witty and lovely.

Mind reading.

2006-07-25T03:39:00.000+08:00

The vivid one asks why I always ask what's in front of her sight, what she looks at now, how she's thinking now, what's coming across her now. And I fell into deep thought, about "why I ask her", this question.

And I re-confirm again that, if this kind of curiosity left me, all my ability to think, to write and to create will leave me all at once. When the curiosity left and I am nobody then.

To read a book, to watch a movie, to listen to music, to look at a drawing, to praise some graphix, all those above mentioned activities, for me, comes from my curiosity to read others' mind. Yes, mind reading.

Everyone has his own 2 eyes and 1 brain. I not only care my own perceptions, but also others, for i can communicate better wif the one I want to communicate better.

And I must state clearly that, I will just ask this kind of question to someone I rate high.

人太多，時間太少。

*******

By the way, it's a big blow, and i am quite stupid enough. U know what I mean.

Bloghead.

2006-07-22T07:28:00.000+08:00

Listening to some of Travis & Radiohead's songs when I am working on my bloghead tonite, sad actually I can't hide.

Scenes just float and float.

*******

I am used to use "*******" as the break up of paragraph, actually there's some meaning for me. I have a tattoo on my right hand that I made with her in the past, apart from my others tattoos on both arms.

Yes, I love tatteo so much when I was young. Yes, my dad is a royal navy member, and I have an old-fashion-anchor tattoo on my right arm that I made it once I grad from U.

*******

There are some asked what's the meaning of my blog's name. It used to be just "Trashy Fiction", coz I wrote so many trashy things here, some real some fake (and I won't tell u which is which).

Now is "Half Past Seven". Apart from the meaning of the morning time 730am that I remember clearly till now, as it's the time I have to wake when I was young and studing, it also means there's already few people passed me already, that I have to run faster, to catch up with them, and to win them. Yes, I am 7.

*******

Ok, I finished the new blog heading now. I am using Mac on Firefox browser and I can see clearly the blog heading with no problem at all. But I want to know if u who use PC's IE, Firefox etc can view it with no problem or not. So, pls drop a message here if u can't see the above heading clearly (and pls state what computer u r using if u fail to, and what browser u r using, thank you).
*******

Tonite is another unstable nite for me. I re-hurt my back again when I moved books in the book exhibition yesterday. I am unstable that one of u know well what's the reason behind. At least I am glad I am still young to have such feeling.

*******

There's only 14 days left for the arrival of that day. And every day of mine will be changed from that day.

My Carter on 20/07/06.

2006-07-21T04:58:00.000+08:00

Ok, let me update all of u, about one of my beloved boy boy carter, when I came back from my exhausted day of the book exhibition. Hope all of u who love Carter and wish him well, enjoy the followings.

*******

Car: " Pa, U went back so late and wake me from the cage, only for u to take this pix? Come on, be mature ok? U can see my rear legs still r not that strong ma...And where's the chicken rice u promised to cook me, huh?"
Me: "......."

*******

Car: " I am really sleepy la...Give me a break..."
Me: "okok..."

*******

Car: "Ok, after pa, it's u disturb my sleep...Ok la, Cur..."
Cur: "I miss u bro bro...Do u know how I miss u?"

*******

My idol (I rate his hair style more than his brain, stylish, to be precise): "Miracle, miracle. Carter's recovery is a lovely miracle that I never can predict. But he really needs more rest, that I can predict, and I won't be wrong."
Car: "zzzzzzz...zzzzzzz..."

Must sleep la.

2006-07-19T07:27:00.000+08:00

Seems u r not good enough to wake again at midnite.

And I am not a hacker.

Scars on the tough.

2006-07-14T23:52:00.000+08:00

Carter shows he's a lovely tough boy now. Today he can swing his tail a little bit when I visit him. I got known why parents break into tears when they look at their son's first walking finally.

Look at the scars, it's almost 7 inches. For Carter's whole length just 30 inches, it's 1/4 of his body. U can imagine how big and serious the operation for him.

Carter boy, no need to be shy coz your long smart hairs all shaved for operation, Curtis and any other doggy boy wont laugh at u anyway.

For tough boy is cool enough, and for the witty doc also told me u r the most handsome one, and I believe in what the witty doc said.

Hope u know what is real.

2006-07-14T06:18:00.000+08:00

Zidane is the modern time football king, I mean, for our age that all born in the 70's.

His headbutt dont deduct his marks from mine, actually, that add marks on the contrary.

Read what he said towards the camera, where hundreds of thousands of people r watching him:

"I am a man and some words are harder to hear than actions. I would have rather been knocked down than hear that."

Those words r real bad words towards his mum and sis. And Zidane is a hero for me.

If I was him, headbutt was not headbutt but punch, punch to Materazzi's mouth already.

*******

And I hope someone will know what's the meaning of real now, I mean, the real me.

In my unstable nite, Curtis sleep like this.

2006-07-13T07:55:00.000+08:00

I am unstable, Curtis is unstable (coz he misses Carter so much that eat and drink little all this week, silly boy). And he sleeps besides me like this when I am writing, working and waiting.

A room with a view.

2006-07-11T01:11:00.000+08:00

That's the view when I am working at workshop. And I am not staring at James Jarvis dolly or Playmobil dolly, but the lovely dachshund one, and missing Carter.

*******

Quite a lot of frds sms or phone me to ask abt Carter latest updated. I am really happy to know that quite a lot of persons love my boy. But everytime I just reply in a quite rude tone (no matter sms or phone conversation) that I must say sorry here. I am really not into the mood to speak the whole stuff in a well-presented, or upbeat mood. Coz it isn't.

*******

I will take Carter back to my home tmr, no matter he will walk again or not. That's what I wanna do and he want me to do I know well. Curtis misses him so much, I miss him so much, my sofa misses him so much, my bed misses him so much, and Carter misses all too much, too.

*******

Have to back to work now, our next book is coming that I can't stop working hard. Time waits no man, I dont know when I can't walk, or can't write again. And I am waiting to read some more w & p words, to calm me down when I am not.

Bless Carter, pls.

2006-07-06T21:38:00.000+08:00

Yesterday late nite, I am grateful they said the operation is successful.
Today, I got known Carter may not walk again.

*******

Yes, life is not easy at all.

*******

What r u doing Before Sunset?

2006-07-04T04:45:00.001+08:00

Before Sunrise is a film over 10 years (1995) ago already. Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy, both my fav actor and actress, starred in it. I remember clearly this film didn't show in HK's cinema (and i remember just film festival some years later showed it, for just 1 or 2 times). But it's Richard Linklater's work, that I have bought the DVD once it's available from amazon in those old year.

It's not a good film actually, pretend to be romantic, pretend to be artisic, but it's just a youth love-affair melodrama.

Before Sunset is totally not in the same class. After 10 yrs, Richard Linklater is grown now, is old now, knows how the world move clearly now. And he shoots a modern time classic love film this time, in 2004.

I have no intention to discuss about how good Ethan and Julie act, how good Kim Krizan co-write the script, how good the camera works, and how good the music scores.

I just wanna highlight that, after only 80 mins (i forget how long this film exactly, but I remember well, it's a short film), the ending of the film just so perfect: subtle, gentle, laid-back, and u will remember lifelong coz everyone experience that moment.

My words can't describe well i am sorry. So pls take a look at the following clips (in sequel pls).

And this is the only film I watched alone in a proper cinema, after she left me. And it's a 2004 film already.

Mr. Nonsense is no nonsense for me.

2006-06-29T22:04:00.000+08:00

HMV CWB moves to the opposite building. The biggest surprise to me is that they carry Mr. Men's DVD! Just $88 each and u can enjoy the 1974 old version animation. Best buy of this month, for sure.

Mr. Nonsense is no nonsense for me, he just speaks in a creative way u never expected, and speaks wisely.

The Album I wanna buy, has over 20 Mr. Men's songs, but hard to find now...

Mr. Impossible is the main character in this DVD, good.

*******
U all knows already that I am a big fan of Mr. Men. And Mr. Impossible is my beloved one I even use him as this blog's header.

And Mr. Nonsense comes into my mind recently, the book of him written as follows:

"Mr. Nonsense had no sense at all.
Not a scrap.
I mean, he lived in a tree.
A tree!
Can you imagine?"

Funny and stupid enough.

If I have to choose 1, just 1 movie of my life.

2006-06-22T08:39:00.000+08:00

No matter what, it won't affect the importance of this film for me.

80% of my new home.

2006-06-20T05:39:00.000+08:00

Ok, u know i am a neat person now.

90% of our workshop.

2006-06-20T05:31:00.000+08:00

Ok, u know we design well now.

WC.

2006-06-16T06:45:00.000+08:00

Trust me, it's a nice book for all u England fans that we did. Available in 7/11, OK, and all newstand.

Lampard (far right) is my modern time hero: though plays not so good tonite, but he's the one passes not bad, and shoots great.

Becks is a real mature man now, for what he did on pitch, as well as his look. A real man.

England will win the World Cup. Even not, I still love them.

www.redderdoor.com

2006-05-30T05:23:00.000+08:00

Our site is coming. The door is gonna opened.

Everything apart from this, must be left behind for awhile.

Thx for the little snake, and all others, for helping us silently.

About Tsing Fung (1).

2006-05-10T09:49:00.000+08:00

From my first blog writing on 10/06/05, it's almost 1 yr now. And this is the most difficult one for me to write, compared to all others.

Today is 10/05/06. And I will leave where I live for over 3 important years in my life tomorrow.

I love the name of "Tsing Fung" for a street name long long ago. What other name can be more romantic than this, especially when one moved in in his 20-something and leave in his 30-something? Yes, this period covered the days I was "tsing fung" and I am not "tsing fung" anymore.

And over 3 yrs is not a short period.

My ex loved to move house almost every year. We know each other for less than 1 mth that we decided to move out and live together in a 400ft sq very old building in CWB and live our happiest days there for 1 yr, then we moved into an E House flat for ard 650ft sq for another still happy & sweet yr, wif Carter & Curtis join us in that period. The next is a 1300 ft sq Paterson Street unit that we love and hate and suffer for 1.5 yrs (Cory, Casey and Ceska all join there).

And then I was laid off by a big company, and then I start to write my own books as career, and then we move to a cheaper, yet still quite big 1100 ft sq Tsing Fung Street flat. And then we rent 1 more flat just downstairs where we live. And then Cory passed away make us heartbroken totally owing to accident. And then we broke up. And then she left with Casey & Ceska. And then Carter Curtis and me lives in Tsing Fung alone for almost 2 yrs now. And then some gals sleep wif me in Tsing Fung. And then Tsing Fung accept my everything. And then I will leave Tsing Fung on 11/05/06.

*******

I packed overnite last nite and starts to feeling dizzy that I have to write next time, abt me, abt boys, abt her, and abt Tsing Fung.

I addicted to Taiwan long ago & I love 蔡詩蕓 recently.

2006-05-06T05:33:00.000+08:00

Avril Lavigne x F.I.R. x Cheer Chan, rabbit teeth, thick lips and subtly sexy.

回想起某君

2006-05-03T06:00:00.000+08:00

像從前那個人成了友人難抹去這戲份
我太多事動魄驚心
我太知舊時幸福怎麼變做缺陷

從陰影裡超生

回想起某君

Nice cap for summer's bad hair day in our workshop.

2006-04-28T05:03:00.000+08:00

I mean, the right one in pix.
Who the hell says 30-somethings can't SK8? I am a skater when I am young, and why can't i skate when I am old now, if I can bear the pain of breaking bones??

* By the way, Sk8 means Skating, if u don't know.

Carter still miss his mum.

2006-04-26T09:02:00.000+08:00

Even though it's over 1.5 yrs now.

He will sleep on the corridor every nite when I am working, just look at 6/F, hope there's some mum's voice from there, and then go up hug him.

So I say: "Don't miss mama la, Car", he freeze, and look at me, just like in the photos what u can see.

Our mascot.

2006-04-25T01:18:00.000+08:00

Ok, Partner & me go visit toy store after our works tonite. And we find our new company's mascot: yes, it's the 五勇士 that both of us loved so much in our childhood, and it's not very popular in these days that we love it more.

It's from the RAH 450 series (Real Action Hero 450) of Medicom Toy, very lo-fi, very low b (our style), over 16 inches tall.

And he will stand on our new office's reception, starting from May.

五勇士: "Don't worry, let me protect u!"
Curtis: "...ZZZ...ZZZ..."

五勇士: "Don't worry, let me protect u!!!"
Curtis: "...ZZZ...ZZZ...ZZZ..."

五勇士: "Really no need to worry, let me protect u and the world, by both hands!!!"
Curtis: "Can u shut your mouth up, and keep our home silent, stupid? I can tell u, if u wake Carter, he will bite u till death!"
五勇士: "okok...sorry."

五勇士: "Being a hero is not an easy career...Work so hard but receive harsh wordings, and can't cry..."

r d is born on 9th Feb, 2006.

2006-04-19T03:38:00.000+08:00

r d, aka Redder Door.

Designing is to make our place looks not too bad.
Publishing is to remind of the charm of words.
Gambling is to have some happy sweat.

Carter boy & Curtis boy smell so good tonite.

2006-04-17T07:29:00.000+08:00

Sunday nite 160406, I finally bring Carter & Curtis my doggy boys to pet shop for nail cut, then walk them for half an hour till them tired, hug them home, and bath both of them. It's the sunday I enjoy most: sleep for over 18 hrs, wake and read HK comix "Wind Cloud" on web (yes, i am really really into it recently, to chase back the story once i read when i am young), then manage my doggy boys.

And tomorrow will be busy again, and boys won't stink and smell good, when i hug them to sleep.

I say: "Chicken...chicken.." Boys stare at me at once. I trap them..

Curtis: "..Papa, where's the chicken? I want to eat chicken for long.."

I say again: "Bone...bone.." Boys stare at me again. I trap them again...

Carter: "Neglect what Pa says, he's stupid enough..and think we r stupid." Curtis: "Yes yes, Pa is so stupid, never know we just pretend & entertain him..."

For someone of my nite 100406.

2006-04-11T07:05:00.000+08:00

AM PM 莫文蔚

那些以為會永遠的昨天
剩手機忘了刪掉的照片
像口袋裡被洗破的門票
時間
攪碎一切

就像有時差的兩個世界
白天註定無法擁抱黑夜
我們走過了多少的考驗
還是
死結

為甚麼感覺越強烈
卻只會反方向撕裂
越是傷的直接
為甚麼總要到熄滅
才懷念曾經的炙熱
感到迫切
為甚麼總要到殘缺
才懷念相對的完全
發現愛總不對
時間

就像有時差的兩個世界
白天註定無法擁抱黑夜
我們對愛情的一知半解
還是破滅

為甚麼感覺越強烈
卻只會反方向撕裂
越是傷的直接
為甚麼總要到熄滅
才懷念曾經的炙熱
感到迫切
為甚麼總要到殘缺
才懷念相對的完全發現
愛總不對
時間

就像有時差的兩個世界
白天註定無法擁抱黑夜
我們對愛情的一知半解
還是破滅

I am writing my first fiction everynite now.

2006-04-08T06:08:00.000+08:00

24 yrs ago, 3 yrs ago & 5 mths afterwards.

2006-03-31T06:50:00.000+08:00

I final bought what I want, 24 yrs later (I placed No.2 the blue one in the middle, coz I love and role play him the most when I was young).

They made their poses so hard, that touch me so much I must admit.

Days Of Being Wild. When can days of being wild end?

Yes, I remember tonite, that I miss u so so much that I dont realize b4.

*******
My dad left my mum when i was very young, but my childhood was still being linked with my dad's big sister's home for almost every week. My dad's big sister has 2 sons and 2 daughters (they r older than me for over 10 years, it may be difficult to understand, but simply, they r my cousins).

Every sunday we would go to their home, to watch cartoons and SFX, and i would told them i love 五勇士 the most coz 五勇士 has team work concept (of coz 五勇士 need team work as they have 5 members) and cousins and my little bro and me would play the role play game (my cousins, of coz, being the monsters, the eight-yr-old me is one of 五勇士, and my little bro, which was just 3 yrs old, is another 五勇士).

I remember clearly how was the scene of those days. We watched SFX on TV, then play, then dine with my dad's big sister and her husband and my cousins their whole family, there's always fried chicken coz they know i like it. We dined in their old house (which need to walk for 6 floors that's too much for a child i think), then go back home with my mum and little bro.

I go to Wanchai today, and buy 五勇士 figures. It's cheap and low tech and very plastic, that my working partner asked me why I bought them, but i just love 五勇士. All my memory comes back.

That's one of my beloved scene when I was very young, in 24 yrs ago.

*******

I still remember where i was and what i heard, on 1/4/2003, around 7pm.

I was shopping at i.t Style House with N, N was picking somethings with me and received a phone call from her little bro, they talked loudly then. At the same time, I listened to some bad news from shop staffs' chatting, Lesile Cheung committed suicide and passed away. And then I find N's bro told her this at the same time, coz N is a big fan of L.

I can't deny, I am a fan of L. If all of yr ex r big fans of him, how can u not be affected? And when u watched "Days Og Being Wild", apart from that last 5 minutes Tony Leung's solo, how can u not love L, for those previous 85 mins?

L is so brave as a person, that i haven't start writing blog 3 yrs before, that I must write down now. A superstar, handsome, act great, has great taste, dressed well always, with lots of money, and still comes out to admit he's gay. What other can I ask for an idol?

I remember that nite in 3 yrs ago, radio broadcasted all his songs whole nite. I can't sleep well that whole nite. I sms to all my ex who likes him. I even planed to go visit his big expensive house with N the other morning.

3 yrs ago, at nite, I non-stop listen to L's old songs. Tonite, I still listen non-stop to his old songs. That's "classic", for I know the meaning of this word, I must mention it now, just to remind all of u.

*******

Sometimes wordings from SMS do affects me.

I received N's SMS today. "Just to tell u that, I will got marry at XX Sept, 06".

That's the date around her b-day. Sorry, no, her b-day is not what I wanna write down here.

Do i feel sad? Do I feel grateful for her? Well, I dont know. The point is, I just dont know how to react. My whole body just dont know how to react.

I mean, I still greet her by sms, in a polite way. But then, I dont know how to react within myself.

N is the one lived with me from I was 25 to I was 31, for over 5 yrs. Live together means sleep together everynite for over 1800 days, face the days with her for over 1800 days. All my frds think she will be with me for my remaining life, even my mum think so. It's not that easy and simple I can tell u.

And I got her sms today. A sms I never want to receive (but that of coz, I can't stop when I am receiving).

Another story starts 5 mths afterwards. Hope N all the best. And I am 33 now.

The old pix I love the most.

2006-03-27T02:17:00.000+08:00

The Sunday Brunch.

2006-03-19T06:14:00.000+08:00

I am sorry I can't spare enough time for these 2 lovely boys.

Okok, I know you r lovely and want more from me now...

Pls don't be so sad, Carter boy...

On location for our new venture.

Ok, some boy told me I am too long not to update my blog, so I use this sat overnite, to think of what to write, and write them down now.

My days, after we start our new venture, are not stable ones: no holiday like in the past, no drink outside like in the past, no flirting with gals like in the past, many times delay of my tooth treatment b4 "cool" tooth (i knew my dentist hates me), long hair no time to cut. Yes, everything is "NO", except business, coz business is money, and we need money indeed.

We are exhausted from mid of jan till now. Luckily business is not bad. Then I ask my partners and we regulate sundays are our holiday from now on (of coz when jobs are not that urgent). And so I can write something here now.

My old company fired my reporter which is over-qualified for them (firing of over-qualified person indicates how fucking stupid my old company, to be precise, the managment people of my old company, are). But i never doubt the one I hire in the past, never. So, E, relax and enjoy your time and compensation money. Chances come to good talented people.

If I can have a band (if I have learned my guitar well from H), I must name it "The Sunday Brunch", yes, sunday sleep late and wake and have brunch relaxly with someone I like (which must be cute la), what's more I can ask for?

The coming 24 hrs is my holiday after long, so I share some pix I took these months, in the above.

And by the way, I will move out from this flat, to the mid of North Point and Quarry Bay. A new life indeed. Visit me when you have time, mates.

Haunting.

2006-02-23T03:37:00.000+08:00

好型.

2006-02-21T05:43:00.000+08:00

天地雙龍, 真係好型!

Another 好型: 左比單，依比路，加貝拉；我地係伏魔三劍俠.

I bought this little book from 7/11, and find it's real good to play.

2006-01-28T04:10:00.000+08:00

This is what I will play, for my whole lunar holiday.

Shrimp roll gives me a real gd nite last nite, but stay alone now.

2006-01-26T07:02:00.000+08:00

I find someone is so sweet.

2006-01-22T08:31:00.000+08:00

Something is coming.

2006-01-10T03:43:00.000+08:00

Love Motel.

2006-01-05T03:47:00.000+08:00

Two doggies really can stand up, at the same time...

Slept like a piggy...

Carter really love to sleep on pillow like a child.

Ok, it's me wake up Curtis, see how annoying he is...

One of my old friend once has a band named "Love Motel". It's a good name I love a lot.

Apart from the salty meaning that we all know, the name has some meaningful visual: a motel love can rest inside.

*******

N goes up visit carter and curtis before 2005 ended. We have a good nite coz I can see how doggy boys miss her. They lick her, stay silent, then sleep calmly besides her, just like little baby feeling safe and comfort that I never can give them. When I look at the whole picture, I am graftful.

*******

N experienced a lot also for the whole year we broke. She's not that clever in quite a lots of relationships afterwards. She's exhausted. She need some rest in my home for one night. We love each other in the past and hurted each other then. That 30/12/05 nite. She can hug doggy boys tight, and fell asleep gently on my new sofa.

And I think of my place is the love motel for her.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

2006-01-02T20:57:00.000+08:00

I have no any full time job (I mean, as an employee) now. Many nites I can't sleep well, not because I got fired and feeling unhappy, never. On the contrary, I am grateful my life decide this for me, which must be good for me.

I can't sleep well coz that speech from Steve Jobs, haunted me whenever I lie on bed and plan to sleep. When I am given the full freedom now, I got to find something I really love, and do it within my life.

I have posted the chinese version of that speech before, that there are quite lots of frds read it and let me know it inspired them again. But when I re-read the speech, I can find the translation of the chinese version is not that good enough. The point of "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish" haven't been highlighted out. So I decide to post the original english version speech out. It's a reminder to all my love, all who read my blog, as well as a reminder to me myself.

I have my own new company with some good partners now. What should we do, that both of us love to do, that both of us good at doing? We have some hints and am doing already. Even we never know the result is fruitful or not, I must thank u all to give chance to us. Chance is the best way to test.

The below old speech comes up my head oftenly, especially in the days of serious flu these days, I can't do anything, but keep lie on bed, listen to some good music from my old iPod, and think again what Mr. Jobs want to say, through his speech.

*******

Steve Jobs to 2005 graduates: 'Stay hungry, stay foolish'

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

I want to be Mr. Impossible.

2005-12-27T04:34:00.000+08:00

From puppet shows characters, I like Bert from Sesame Street; among toys, Playmobil is my first choice; and within the whole lots of cartoon characters, I am into Mr. Impossible from Mr. Men.

Mr. Men's characters by Roger Hargreaves, are all so simple and lovely, they are not animals that push u to love them (like all hello kitty's or mickey mouse' sort of stuffs), they are just outlines and colors. Does anything more simple than that?

And what the author Mr. Roger added in, is his perception from the general human. All 70 Mr. Men and Little Miss, actually, are some part of u and me. U will find Mr. Greedy, Mr. Nosey, Mr. Silly, Mr. Daydream, Mr. Forgetful etc etc. It's us. Everyone is Mr. Men.

Why I love Mr. Impossible? Another simple question. Pls read the Mr. Men book number 25 (come on, buy them! it's only HKD$23 in Page One!), and u will know, Mr. Impossible trusts every impossible things, even all others treat him like a psycho, coz he has faith in himself. How I wanna be a Mr. Impossible...

My ultimate xmas gift, for myself.

2005-12-23T02:56:00.000+08:00

Okok, I dont receive much xmas gift from others (yes, when I am older, I treasure giving out gift and receiving gift that I dont rate in the past).

So when xmas comes, and I wanna buy myself more things, to make myself happier.

And, ladies and gentlemen, here comes my ultimate xmas gift: a new Mac Mini with a nice LG lcd mon. I can continue work for myself now. And I am happy.

Someone told me I am a bad animal in the past. Yes I am. I have no intention to change neither. And I hope the bad animal can cheers someone up for some time, especially b4 xmas.

Before I left, I buy the following for myself. I am ok. Don't worry.

2005-12-19T19:15:00.000+08:00

Season's Greetings.

2005-12-16T20:13:00.000+08:00

Ok, this is the 2nd year within 15 years, that I pass my Christmas alone. But surprisingly, I am not that unhappy.

The meaning of 2005 for me, is to train me up to live my daily life alone. Naturally and not bad indeed, after over 1 yr time. I can do it without much anxiety.

Apart from feeling really cold and can only hug Carter and Curtis hard during winter nights, I live my life pretty free and quite satisfied thoughout the whole year.

When Christmas comes soon and all those shops set up money-grabbing Christmas window displays, to my own surprise, I have gone into the toy shop, and buy the Playmobil set that I love for quite some time (it's just like my stupid dream car, VW's Golf Mark I!). And then I get known I have overcome my mental problem actually.

And yes, this is a post for all of u feeling not good (maybe u have broke wif someone unintentionally, maybe yr career doesn't run smooth, maybe, well, many maybe). Go buy something for yrself. Enjoy the season's greetings.

Color black in the month of Christmas.

2005-12-13T23:23:00.000+08:00

I have just started my 30mething life for not long, and have to start facing death.

Of coz it's not something to be happy. My Grandmum passed away in 1/5/05 that I still feeling something missing out inside my body. And then I receive a email from my bro, that one of the influential teachers when we are in secondary school (yes, my bro and I studied in the same primary and secondary school as well), committed suicide yesterday.

Mr. Kong is a great teacher as far as I know. He's so pride that his english was so good, his life was just so english gentleman (he once told me he has a castle in England, a CASTLE!), and he has own a horse here in Hong Kong--all that old traditional intellectual gentleman should have to do during one's life.

And Mr. Kong is so harsh as a teacher, or to be precise, so harsh as a person. He will never praise someone if one's english is not good enough (that means, he always look down at someone when one's english is poor, ok?). Of coz when we are young, we all think that he's a very difficult person. But when I am grown, and I find that my written english is not that poor, I can know how his harshness give us advantage.

Ok, I am not one always-attend-secondary-school-reunion-man. But I still hear some weird news about Mr. Kong during recently years. What I think is that, who cares, as long as he himself is happy. That's his way to choose how his life should be. And no one can blame whatever he do, coz u r not him.

But I am still pity he choose to commit suicide at the end. He has everything and he wants to end everything, that must have some unsolveable reason inside, that we will never know.

Adding some color black in the month of color red and green, is never a good feeling. And the old english gentleman makes himself a legend among all his students' heart now.

-------

In memory of my english teacher, Mr. Francis Kong. And hope I have make no grammer mistake in my above writing.

-------

九華名師江之鈞城門河自盡
2005年12月13日

【明報專訊】九龍華仁書院著名英文老師江之鈞昨晚被發現在沙田城門河遇溺。警方暫列作自殺案處理。九龍華仁校長蘇中平昨晚接受本報記者查詢時指出，剛收到有關江老師去世的消息，已即時趕到沙田威爾斯醫院了解情，但暫時未能接觸到死者家人了解情。

死意已決途人制止不果

警方表示，昨晚6時20分，有一名姓黃(59歲)途人目睹江氏在沙田火炭路翠榕橋對開，正欲跨過欄河欲步入城門河中，黃某立即上前制止，但有人似乎尋死意堅，掙開黃的雙手，跑向河邊，然後縱身一躍跳入城門河，在水中載浮載沉，未幾沒頂。途人見狀立即報警求助。
另一名23歲姓黃青年途經見狀，即跳入河中拯救，將江救起，扶至岸邊，由多名途人合力救上岸，江當時已昏迷不省。其時警員及救護員亦接報趕至，立即由救護車將江送院搶救，惟抵院後至晚上6時48分證實不治。
警方在江身上找不到任何遺書，但在肇事現場附近發現江氏的一個袋，內有他的身分證明文件，所以校方很快接到消息。警方初步調查後相信案件無可疑，暫列作有人自殺案處理。

任教45年李柱銘同窗

記者昨晚到九龍華仁書院查詢，校工表示學校教職員不在，但印象中江之鈞在華仁任教已有45年。
江之鈞的英文名是Francis Kong，現年69歲，與立法會議員李柱銘分屬香港大學的同窗，畢業後在1960年加入九龍華仁書院任教，主要是教授英文科，4年前退休，但其後以義工身分，繼續在九龍華仁任教，充分顯露他春風化雨的決心。由於他40多年來一直在九龍華仁執教，因此桃李滿門，加以他的英文造詣甚深，以及十分平易近人，所以很多華仁畢業生都十分敬重這位英文老師。
律敦治及鄧肇堅醫院行政總監馬學章便曾接受江之鈞老師的教導，昨晚聞訊後感到十分悲傷。他憶述江老師對學生的關懷遠超出一般老師。他對學生的愛護猶如對自己的子侄。他予人最深的印象是英文造詣很好、記憶力很強，而且中文的造詣也很好，有時兼教數學亦頭頭是道。

301105-031205, I was in Beijing and I luv Beijing.

2005-12-05T00:45:00.000+08:00

It's a fantastic funny trip. Too tired now, let me write tomorrow.

We miss the Best, and I miss Shadow.

2005-11-26T05:00:00.000+08:00

The Best has gone.

George Best has gone today. He's the most gifted footballer from the United Kingdom (pity he's not an English but a Northern Irish, or else I do think he got the World Cup medal already), that I know when I am very young. Dont get me wrong, I haven't born when he was a footballer.

Best is the dribbling genius, the wing wizard, the wide boy, from footballing terms. I love Chris Waddle and Ryan Giggs, coz they are all this kind of footballer. And I am never a dribbler in ground, so I specially like to watch and enjoy this kinds of players. My regret is, I born too late to really watch Best's best moments, I can just watched the past DVD to see how good he is.

He has a good enjoyable and memorable short life. His skill is so good that born to be a star, he's handsome, he's rich, and he has been wif so many gals and women u won't count all, he drank a whole lot till every part of his body totally broken down. He is, simply a legend. And he's the number 7 from of Manchester United in the 60's. I love Ryan Giggs much, but Giggs is just a half clone from George Best. If u know football, u know what i mean.

I am in company's canteen when I got known he's dead. I am holding my sandwish and stand still in front of the TV wif E. I am sad inside, Best weights less than 90 pounds at the end. I dont understand why such a legend died at only 59-yrs-old. Maybe God envy him.

I miss u, Best. I have checked yr news everyday in Soccernet when u r in hospital these weeks, coz I want to read that u recover again but good news never come out. U ended the golden period of 60's and 70's football.

May peace be with u. Your name says it all.

-------

And I steal many songs from Ho's iPod tonite. I am listening to DJ Shadow now. And I think of my Touch's days.

Our team was strong, very strong in that days, much stronger than any magazine nowadays: Mandy the-editor-now-Detective-wife always set us free, Detective the crazy fun and chaos maker, Joel the mod guy (but he's fat now), B the gadget expert, Johnny the older round one, and me.

Even we band together so well just like bros, but our music tastes differ a whole lot: there are no MP3 in those days u must know, we just got a CD player, which is a gift from some company for reader but we keep it in office. Detective always play Ben Folds Five, Joel is hardcore for Oasis, B ok he dont listen to music, Johnny dreams he's the Metallica's drummer, and at that time, I am into DJ Shadow.

So when I listen back Lonely Soul from Psyence Fiction and Guns Blazing live from Shadow tonite, those days come back totally: the day we stay at kowloon bay overnite only to wait for enemy Easyfinder available at Wednesday morning, the day we steal food coupons from boss's drawer, the days we smoke all boss' cigarettes secretly but buy him back the wrong brand, the day we overnites everyday and wake at 3pm but go back office only for tea eating...

-------

Those were the days that I never regret.

A genius' work.

2005-11-25T06:24:00.000+08:00

I am messing around with one of my beloved designer Snake Ming (don't let me told others that why I call u this, ok?), to urge another designer of this generation, Fay, to draw me, and what u see is the result (he just draw freehand in between his overnight work). Genius he is.

I must be grateful I have the opportunity to get know these three designers: Fay, Ming and Joe. All 3 r not the small fishes in the little poll. My old saying: when I sit besides one designer for 5 mins, I know well what they can do. And so I know well who can do it and who can't. They can.

Ok, Fay, I am wearing Clarks but not Birkenstock anymore when I stay late in office, and I have neck, pls revise yr drawing. And Snake Ming, it's your turn to do it now. I am waiting for something in your style. U know, I am crazier than what u think, check that guestbook if u r not a good boy...And Joe, don't be lazy, do what I ask u to...

Thx mates.

i am happy tonite, reassure I know u all 3, in different stages of my life.

Let's be the cast in South Park.

2005-11-24T02:30:00.000+08:00

From a frd's recommend, I go to play this good-time-killing-self-drawing game.

And this must be me, if I am one of the cast in South Park.

Special thanks must be given to:
http://www.vexatori.de/zib/spstudio.html

Trust me, Segway is funny and meaningful.

2005-11-22T01:50:00.000+08:00

Some old tall frd sms me yesterday, we have some happy stupid time together in the past (b4 we lost contact for quite some time).

From his blog, I am so grateful he find someone of his already (the 3rd of my frds that told me they will get marry very soon, holy...), and will move to Aus. I am really happy for them, though I didn't know who his gf is, to be precise.

And then I think of the stupid-boys-unrealistic-dream again. When we are young, we all want to be an intellectual, someone others will remember, or even a cult icon (tall boy, u know it). The point is, the world molds us so much, and we need to eat, let alone paying rent and whole lots of daily expenses. Then we got to learn the meaning of compromise.

Compromise is not a bad word, after u learn it. At least we are stepping on the ground now, at least I enjoy pulp fictions and blockblaster movies and canton pop now. Yes, it's our world. We cannot not join in. And if u really need to join in, pls carry a smiling face to join. That's really what I've learned after 8 yrs working life.

And so when I step onto the new toy from Segway today, I am really happy. From the functional aspect, I do think it's the most meaningful and innovative invention, after Google's birth on 1995.

The experience is, step on it, learn to control and communicate with it (which is so easy u won't believe), then enjoy it. I just like the simpleness and enjoyment it brings me.

Yes, get it simple and just go enjoy. If life is like that, how can u complain anymore?

Steve Jobs: You've got to find what you love.

2005-11-19T21:40:00.000+08:00

It's not something new. I find this speech from my idol Steve Jobs monthes ago, and I always bear in mind about what he said. Then I sent to some of my frds, and more of my frds ask me for that, so I post the whole one here.

It's the best speech I have ever heard. Hope everyone understand what Mr. Jobs said. I do think the whole world will be more lovely then.

(Steve Jobs 在2005年6月12日對全體史丹佛大學畢業生的演講內容)

今天，有榮幸來到各位從世界上最好的學校之一畢業的畢業典禮上。我從來沒從大學畢業。說實話，這是我離大學畢業最近的一刻。今天，我只說三個故事，不談大道理，三個故事就好。

第一個故事，是關於人生中的點點滴滴怎麼串連在一起。

我在里德學院（Reed college）待了六個月就辦休學了。到我退學前，一共休學了十八個月。那麼，我為什麼休學？

這得從我出生前講起。我的親生母親當時是個研究生，年輕未婚媽媽，她決定讓別人收養我。她強烈覺得應該讓有大學畢業的人收養我，所以我出生時，她就準備讓我被一對律師夫婦收養。但是這對夫妻到了最後一刻反悔了，他們想收養女孩。所以在等待收養名單上的一對夫妻，我的養父母，在一天半夜裡接到一通電話，問他們「有一名意外出生的男孩，你們要認養他嗎？」而他們的回答是「當然要」。

後來，我的生母發現，我現在的媽媽從來沒有大學畢業，我現在的爸爸則連高中畢業也沒有。她拒絕在認養文件上做最後簽字。直到幾個月後，我的養父母同意將來一定會讓我上大學，她才軟化態度。

十七年後，我上大學了。但是當時我無知選了一所學費幾乎跟史丹佛一樣貴的大學，我那工人階級的父母所有積蓄都花在我的學費上。六個月後，我看不出唸這個書的價值何在。

那時候，我不知道這輩子要幹什麼，也不知道唸大學能對我有什麼幫助，而且我為了唸這個書，花光了我父母這輩子的所有積蓄，所以我決定休學，相信船到橋頭自然直。

當時這個決定看來相當可怕，可是現在看來，那是我這輩子做過最好的決定之一。當我休學之後，我再也不用上我沒興趣的必修課，把時間拿去聽那些我有興趣的課。

這一點也不浪漫。我沒有宿舍，所以我睡在友人家裡的地板上，靠著回收可樂空罐的五先令退費買吃的，每個星期天晚上得走七哩的路繞過大半個鎮去印度教的HareKrishna 神廟吃頓好料。我喜歡Hare Krishna神廟的好料。追尋我的好奇與直覺，我所駐足的大部分事物，後來看來都成了無價之寶。

舉例來說：

當時里德學院有著大概是全國最好的書法指導。在整個校園內的每一張海報上，每個抽屜的標籤上，都是美麗的手寫字。因為我休學了，可以不照正常選課程序來，所以我跑去學書法。我學了serif與san serif 字體，學到在不同字母組合間變更字間距，學到活版印刷偉大的地方。書法的美好、歷史感與藝術感是科學所無法捕捉的，我覺得那很迷人。

我沒預期過學的這些東西能在我生活中起些什麼實際作用，不過十年後，當我在設計第一台麥金塔時，我想起了當時所學的東西，所以把這些東西都設計進了麥金塔裡，這是第一台能印刷出漂亮東西的電腦。如果我沒沉溺於那樣一門課裡，麥金塔可能就不會有多重字體跟變間距字體了。又因為Windows抄襲了麥金塔的使用方式，如果當年我沒這樣做，大概世界上所有的個人電腦都不會有這些東西，印不出現在我們看到的漂亮的字來了。當然，當我還在大學裡時，不可能把這些點點滴滴預先串在一起，但是這在十年後回顧，就顯得非常清楚。

我再說一次，你不能預先把點點滴滴串在一起；唯有未來回顧時，你才會明白那些點點滴滴是如何串在一起的。所以你得相信，你現在所體會的東西，將來多少會連接在一塊。你得信任某個東西，直覺也好，命運也好，生命也好，或者業力。這種作法從來沒讓我失望，也讓我的人生整個不同起來。

我的第二個故事，有關愛與失去。

我好運－年輕時就發現自己愛做什麼事。我二十歲時，跟Steve Wozniak在我爸媽的車庫裡開始了蘋果電腦的事業。我們拼命工作，蘋果電腦在十年間從一間車庫裡的兩個小夥子擴展成了一家員工超過四千人、市價二十億美金的公司，在那之前一年推出了我們最棒的作品－麥金塔，而我才剛邁入人生的第三十個年頭，然後被炒魷魚。

要怎麼讓自己創辦的公司炒自己魷魚？
好吧，當蘋果電腦成長後，我請了一個我以為他在經營公司上很有才幹的傢伙來，他在頭幾年也確實幹得不錯。可是我們對未來的願景不同，最後只好分道揚鑣，董事會站在他那邊，炒了我魷魚，公開把我請了出去。曾經是我整個成年生活重心的東西不見了，令我不知所措。

有幾個月，我實在不知道要幹什麼好。我覺得我令企業界的前輩們失望－我把他們交給我的接力棒弄丟了。我見了創辦HP的David Packard跟創辦Intel的Bob Noyce，跟他們說我很抱歉把事情搞砸得很厲害了。我成了公眾的非常負面示範，我甚至想要離開矽谷。

但是漸漸的，我發現，我還是喜愛著我做過的事情，在蘋果的日子經歷的事件沒有絲毫改變我愛做的事。我被否定了，可是我還是愛做那些事情，所以我決定從頭來過。

當時我沒發現，但是現在看來，被蘋果電腦開除，是我所經歷過最好的事情。成功的沉重被從頭來過的輕鬆所取代，每件事情都不那麼確定，讓我自由進入這輩子最有創意的年代。

接下來五年，我開了一家叫做 NeXT的公司，又開一家叫做Pixar的公司，也跟後來的老婆談起了戀愛。Pixar接著製作了世界上第一部全電腦動畫電影，玩具總動員，現在是世界上最成功的動畫製作公司。然後，蘋果電腦買下了NeXT，我回到了蘋果，我們在NeXT發展的技術成了蘋果電腦後來復興的核心。我也有了個美妙的家庭。

我很確定，如果當年蘋果電腦沒開除我，就不會發生這些事情。這帖藥很苦口，可是我想蘋果電腦這個病人需要這帖藥。有時候，人生會用磚頭打你的頭。不要喪失信心。我確信，我愛我所做的事情，這就是這些年來讓我繼續走下去的唯一理由。

你得找出你愛的，工作上是如此，對情人也是如此。

你的工作將填滿你的一大塊人生，唯一獲得真正滿足的方法就是做你相信是偉大的工作，而唯一做偉大工作的方法是愛你所做的事。如果你還沒找到這些事，繼續找，別停頓。盡你全心全力，你知道你一定會找到。而且，如同任何偉大的關係，事情只會隨著時間愈來愈好。所以，在你找到之前，繼續找，別停頓。

我的第三個故事，關於死亡。

當我十七歲時，我讀到一則格言，好像是「把每一天都當成生命中的最後一天，你就會輕鬆自在。」

這對我影響深遠，在過去33年裡，我每天早上都會照鏡子，自問：「如果今天是此生最後一日，我今天要幹些什麼？」每當我連續太多天都得到一個「沒事做」的答案時，我就知道我必須有所變革了。

提醒自己快死了，是我在人生中下重大決定時，所用過最重要的工具。因為幾乎每件事－所有外界期望、所有名譽、所有對困窘或失敗的恐懼－在面對死亡時，都消失了，只有最重要的東西才會留下。提醒自己快死了，是我所知避免掉入自己有東西要失去了的陷阱裡最好的方法。人生不帶來，死不帶去，沒什麼道理不順心而為。

一年前，我被診斷出癌症。我在早上七點半作斷層掃描，在胰臟清楚出現一個腫瘤，我連胰臟是什麼都不知道。醫生告訴我，那幾乎可以確定是一種不治之症，我大概活不到三到六個月了。醫生建議我回家，好好跟親人們聚一聚，這是醫生對臨終病人的標準建議。那代表你得試著在幾個月內把你將來十年想跟小孩講的話講完。那代表你得把每件事情搞定，家人才會盡量輕鬆。那代表你得跟人說再見了。

我整天想著那個診斷結果，那天晚上做了一次切片，從喉嚨伸入一個內視鏡，從胃進腸子，插了根針進胰臟，取了一些腫瘤細胞出來。我打了鎮靜劑，不醒人事，但是我老婆在場。她後來跟我說，當醫生們用顯微鏡看過那些細胞後，他們都哭了，因為那是非常少見的一種胰臟癌，可以用手術治好。所以我接受了手術，康復了。

這是我最接近死亡的時候，我希望那會繼續是未來幾十年內最接近的一次。經歷此事後，我可以比之前死亡只是抽象概念時要更肯定告訴你們下面這些：沒有人想死。即使那些想上天堂的人，也想活著上天堂。但是死亡是我們共有的目的地，沒有人逃得過。這是註定的，因為死亡簡直就是生命中最棒的發明，是生命變化的媒介，送走老人們，給新生代留下空間。現在你們是新生代，但是不久的將來，你們也會逐漸變老，被送出人生的舞台。抱歉講得這麼戲劇化，但是這是真的。

你們的時間有限，所以不要浪費時間活在別人的生活裡。

不要被信條所惑－盲從信條就是活在別人思考結果裡。

不要讓別人的意見淹沒了你內在的心聲。

最重要的，擁有跟隨內心與直覺的勇氣，你的內心與直覺多少已經知道你真正想要成為什麼樣的人。

任何其他事物都是次要的。

在我年輕時，有本神奇的雜誌叫做 Whole Earth Catalog，當年我們很迷這本雜誌。那是一位住在離這不遠的Menlo Park的Stewart Brand發行的，他把雜誌辦得很有詩意。那是1960年代末期，個人電腦跟桌上出版還沒發明，所有內容都是打字機、剪刀跟拍立得相機做出來的。雜誌內容有點像印在紙上的Google，在Google出現之前35年就有了：理想化，充滿新奇工具與神奇的註記。

Stewart跟他的出版團隊出了好幾期Whole Earth Catalog，然後出了停刊號。當時是1970年代中期，我正是你們現在這個年齡的時候。

在停刊號的封底，有張早晨鄉間小路的照片，那種你去爬山時會經過的鄉間小路。

在照片下有行小字：

求知若飢，虛心若愚。

那是他們親筆寫下的告別訊息，我總是以此自許。

當你們畢業，展開新生活，我也以此期許你們。

求知若飢，虛心若愚。

非常謝謝大家。

Allstars.

2005-11-18T07:44:00.000+08:00

Winter comes, 5 all time brands throughout my life.

1, Duffer Of St George,
2, 45RPM,
3, One True Saxon,
4, Double RL,
5, Muji.

I hope Hong Kong won't have summer from now on. I hate melting.

I haven't write for so long.

2005-11-18T00:03:00.000+08:00

I haven't write a word for totally 2 weeks now. And I re-confirm that, I love writing. When I have to write a lot every day in the past, I hate writing so much; but when I have no chance to write now (even it's just trashy mass wordings), it reminds me how i miss writing. And I really hope I can meet Alan Zeman next week, for myself and for responsibility, he must be a very clever man to talk to and to write about.

When I have no chance to write, I watch Jamie Oliver's DVD at home alone, then I am happy and satisfied. There must be some relationship between writing and Jamie the chef, I need some time to figure out what it is.

P.S. Thx for the book from someone. I enjoy reading it, very much.

Pls don't call me a betrayal.

2005-11-11T22:00:00.000+08:00

I am a Mac man.

I love Mac computer much more than PC. I love Steve Job's character much more than the richest man Bill Gates. I think Mac's OS is much user-friendly than PC's. That is, I love Mac coz I love the more clever one.

My first computer, that I buy when I even don't know what a computer can do, is an Apple IIe. I am in primary school. The milky white color Mac used to use, molds my love and hatred of color scheme from that day. Yes, Mac is just subtly cool, if u look at it carefully.

But at the end, I bought a Dell PC which will be delivered to me next week. There r mainly 2 points for me to make such a decision.

1) for my lovely iPod. All u iPod-users know that, if u r using a PC at office but using a Mac at home, your iPod can't connect to both platform well. I can't push my company to change a Mac for me in office (that I ask for many times), then I have to compromise;

2) for the display ability of chinese. Mac, even how I love it, can't display chinese language well on desktop (and some scroll bar of some websites). That's one of the deadly disadvantage of Mac, even till now.

Of course, PC still has some bonus when u utilities it fully, like BT, like PPlive etc all those ethically illegal stuffs. That is, PC is much more evil than Mac, and I finally choose to use (I will never use the word "love" for PC) something evil at home. And I am very evil now...

This writing is for the memory of my iMac which besides me for over 5 years. Pls don't call me a betrayal, or else my iMac and I both will hug together and cry. Thank you very much.

photo caption(1): my first Apple IIe
photo caption(2): iMac with me for over 5 yrs (mine is a red one)
photo caption(3): My coming evil Dell, 19" LCD mon is even bigger than my TV.

311005-081105, 5 boys r wif me again.

2005-11-08T04:50:00.000+08:00

I am grateful I have holiday last week and 5 boys r all wif me. No matter what's N's unreasonable reason to ask me to look after doggy boys, I agree and do it.

There's always fools in the world that don't think clear in mind what's rite and what's wrong, what's important and what's not. I am glad I am not the one. I wish boys r all enjoying the short days wif me, even though they have to listen to too much Cheers, 500 and J.

-------

Holidays for me, is busier than normal working days. Yes, I have too much to do packed within 1 week. My best frd has also lots of unpredictable weird experiences during these 7 days (like go to police office for stupid reason that I can't stop laugh. He's really my best frd that always entertain me, and he's such a good person as well).

Anyway, we work hard for what we want, we are coz we do.

-------

Am I lonely and unhappy and unsatisfied? Yes I am and No I am not. Yes coz I am working alone, pass my day alone, working hard for my own; No coz I know growth is not an easy task. Growth is to do it, even when the real situation is totally fucked. I eventually know what is mature now--keep your mouth shit, just do it.

-------

Boys are waiting for Mummy now. Tomorrow morning some boys I luv (Casey and Ceska) will leave. I don't want to go sleep till then, afraid I can't touch them and hug them and bite them and kiss them, after i fall asleep.

Furniture of the year.

2005-11-03T22:20:00.000+08:00

I love furniture and I love fonts (fonts for me are the most attractive element of graphix design). I am not lying, I have think of producing furniture in fonts shape b4 (I can't do it of coz due to shortage of money capital), but Set26 of Swissland did it.

26 letters they provide (I am not that happy they don't provide numbers, and of coz I wanna order number 7!), with several colors and u can get whatever words by your own. Obviously it's my furniture for 2005. Hope other fonts will be added by them, apart from Helvetica which most easily produced (I want Cooper Black! I want Cooper Black!!).

The last pix is my stool of the year: Pantone produces color scheme stool. And it's a pity they just have 4 colors now for web order (all are variations of color yellow, you are yellow lover, you must love it, rite?). I want green and bungundy and grey, that they don't have. All in all, it's already comes up on my list for the X'mas gift for myself (though it's quite expensive actually), and my Pantone-Ryan-McGinness-Supreme-skatebroad needs a partner, or else he will be too bored.

Wake up by N's sudden phone call at early morning makes me feel not so good whole day, so, gdnite.

On 021105, I go with Cowy to Joey Yung's last nite concert.

2005-11-03T06:00:00.000+08:00

It's a good concert and a good nite.

I love Joey Yung coz she's not pretty but being one of the biggest star now in HK, I love Joey Yung coz she loves to sing and she can sing well. I love Joey Yung coz she loves to sing and can do what she likes for her career. Actually, I want to be Joey Yung, and everyone wants to be Joey Yung. She works hard, no matter what cost she has to pay (u all know what I mean), and she succeeds.

The show, especially the last nite, has every element to be a good show: clever arrangement of run-down, clever picking of songs being performed, clever encore moment, clever picking of guest appearance (the sad Wong Kit and one of her mentor), singing wholeheartedly, dancing wholeheartedly. Yes, I just love mass concert like this, when I got older and older. Like I love more and more hollywood blockblaster movies when I got older, that I hate most when I am young and studing in film school. Human changes, I am human, and so I am changed, too.

I must admitted that, many time when I am listening to her performance, I am touched. I almost cry out when she sings for several songs. When I choose to join Easyfinder, I know well I have changed inside. Mass is something, it means some kinds of collective enjoyment, and niche is nothing, at all.

Hope the freshing and bright and lovely Cowy enjoys like I am. Hope she has a good nite too.

3 songs below, melodies all so good and pop in quality, lyrics are written in a manner I should learn to write my words: direct yet in-depth yet touching: one is I like most, one is someone told me to listen b4, and one is what I think in this moment.

Gdnite and sweet dream.
-------

啜泣
作曲：舒文
填詞：林夕
編曲：舒文
監製：舒文

誰明白我想　想一覺熟睡
誰料我竟　參加這派對
期待你陪著我不登對都有趣

就趁你快樂問你喜歡誰
你卻說是否指戀愛伴侶
若是那種　自問怕累
然後我咬著唇勒住眼淚

＊如若我肯　撫心去自問
　其實我想　得到你一吻
　然後你承認我　我是誰的候任

　就算我已鑒定你非好人
　也至少換得到一個烙印
　但是我想　並沒有問
　其實你這壞人　從來未為女生虔誠認真＊

＃我愛你這秘密誰願意去證實
　得到這憂鬱症也不委屈
　將燈光關上後便放心懷念你
　只可惜只夠力啜泣

　我對你再老實難令你變老實
　單戀者都可以勇敢呼吸
　趁你我還未消失
　寧願別公開秘密（明白就公開秘密）
　直到末日＃
Repeat＊＃＃

其實我想　躲於你附近
其實我想　賭賭我命運
然後我想…

-------

心淡容祖兒

作曲：徐繼宗
填詞：黃偉文
編曲：唐奕聰
監製：陳永明／舒文

想不起　怎麼會病到不分好歹
連受苦都甜美
我每日捱著　不睬不理
但卻捱不死　又去癡纏你
難道終此一生
都要這麼　不可爭一口氣

＊很謙卑　只不過是我太過愛你
　連自尊都忘記
　跌到極麻木　只好相信
　又再爬得起　就會有轉機
　若我不懂憎你　如何離別你
　亦怕不會飛＊

＃由這一分鐘開始計起　春風秋雨間
　恨（限）我對你以半年時間　慢慢的心淡
　付清　賬單
　平靜的對你熱度退減

　一天一點傷心過　這一百數十晚
　大概也夠我　送我來回地獄又折返人間
　春天分手　秋天會習慣
　苦沖開了便淡＃
Repeat＊（＃）

（說甚麼再平反）
只怕被迫一起更礙眼
（往後這半年間）
只愛自己　雖說不太習慣
畢竟有限　就當　過關
Repeat（＃）

-------

分身術
作曲：徐繼宗
填詞：黃偉文
編曲：唐奕聰
監製：舒文

一出街　能重遇你不禁心中暗喜
一轉身　為何又有一個分身的你
這裡有你　那裡有你
每個途人亦似足從前的你

彷彿將　藏在下意識中黑盒揭起
鎖起的　舊愛記憶集體傾巢逃離
四百個你　八百個你
企滿行人路裡　步步露殺機

無謂太過　我欠你什麼這麼迫我
你不是那一天　已撇下我麼
還是我　被害後幻像太多

＊怎麼我眼內　人人像你　人人是你
　沿途萬里　完全被封鎖
　前方街角尚有幾多個　徘徊著
　未散的　靈魂在共我拍拖
　你的分身　怎麼緊貼著我
　到底真的假的經已混和＊

還是以前的事　不捨得的一個是我

小小的提示　亦會將你清楚記起
不小心　望見某君像你一堂濃眉
看進眼裡　也變作你
陳年舊戲幕幕又揭起

無謂太過　我欠你什麼苦苦追我
你不是那一天　已撇下我麼
還是我　極念舊　後患太多

REPEAT＊

還是以前的事　最拋不低的那是我

沒有人懲罰我　完全是我　難平復淒楚
憑空的塑造出幾千個
徘徊著　未散的　靈魂在共我拍拖
那些追憶　本可一躍就過
我偏喜歡給它一再折磨
其實滿懷執著　不甘心的一個是我

We are all Duffer.

2005-11-02T03:40:00.000+08:00

I just love Duffer Of St George from day 1.

Duffer, if u wanna know the meaning, means the one who is Stupid. It's a subtle brand that combines England's tradition with American college style (or Ivy League stuffs, if u want naming and iconing).

If u like english football, vintage stuffs, fonts, brit-pop music, color of green and brown, london, nerd, geek, Rayban-type thick black or horn-rim glasses etc, Duffer is undoubtedly your choice.

I always think Tomas Chan the famous stylist is a fan of Duffer. I also have seen the famous culture icon Lam Yik Wah wearing the same Duffer classic zip-up hoodie as what I am wearing when I came across him someday. Yes, Duffer means extra somethings to me, or us.

N knows well how I love Duffer (that I wear XL and at the closed Ad Hoc shop by Joyce they have only L clothings from Duffer, I still buy them without thought). If there is no Duffer in the world, there won't be Slam City Skate, Holmes, 6876, Silas, One True Saxon, Gimme Five, the Hideout shop, Jamie Oliver style, Tonite and Pam.

And I am real glad Duffer finally have online ordering now. So apart from www.wellgosh.com, I can order them at www.duffer.co.uk.

AA.

2005-11-01T01:00:00.000+08:00

Yes, I am 30mething now. And I remember how the minimal cult of us 30's built up, which stems the root at the 80's.

80's is the period of bad taste. Loudness, big logos, color of gold, big padded shoulder, all makes me sick (of coz, if someone is flirting with bad taste, like Jeremy Scott the icon man of that, it's another story coz it contains creativity inside). But for me, never. Just like the new term "bling bling", is nothing but bad taste.

So when we are young as students, we are so excited: when Muji finally come HK, hillside A.P.C. small shops, all those Go-Stanley-GapChino&PocketT-Hunting-Saturday-trip, RRL shop opened in TST, Joyce warehouse wandering for Helmut Lang off seasons stuffs, asking friends to buy Carhartt Europe when they go London, go Tokyo buy the best jeans of 45RPM silently, Urban Outfitter being the only must visit shop when I go US (and the hk copy-cat version Issue.com still do some goodness for the mass, if I have to conclude), water shops' introduction of Silas and One True Saxon collections, Tom of Tom (it's the famous hk stylist Tomas Chan's own clothing shop! Mr.Stephen Chow is a fan, and Max of Dusty being salesman there b4!) shop opened in Style House (with a big egg and a grass ground as window display, which still infulencing Jan Lamb), Shopaholic shop opened in Yui Wah street (don't tell me u don't know this nice shop, which closed in pity yrs already, a shop we should support till we die), Duffer Of St George and 6876 (still) being low-key must have, MM hits I.T, and the final coming of Kitsune at Dmop (trust me, top quality fabric as well as top class subtle graphix).

Because of 80's ugliness, we want to go the other way: as subtle as we can. Fashion is nothing for us, we just need clothings, fine quality daily clothings, to state precisely.

And AA that haunted me for over 3 years, finally can be ordered by web. AA for me, is a funny sexy yet more colourful version of affordable Helmet Lang (look at the vest and bags and wind jackets then u will know what I mean).

Yes, for daily use of clothes, I just need them to be plain.

www.americanapparel.net

Just broad our 747.

2005-10-31T03:17:00.000+08:00

The old days r all past now. I am glad I can overcome everything, even though some are real hard to take.

Bad wordings still wandering inside my mind, but I won't try to delect something that I have no ability to delect. I always say, there are so many cockroaches in the world, I won't kill them all b4 I sleep sweet, even though they are so annoying, coz I know I can't. I use my old method to go through all: teeth bites hard. It's the best way, and let time tells others.

N still stays not wise enough that I worry the most, G back HK and enjoying her new life that's good, T works hard for her future, M is not that happy if i don't get it wrong, I's body and mind both suffering recently (of coz I want her relax and enjoy), K always sound fresh and clear in mind that's fine.

No matter what bad time I gave them or they gave me, they r still good important frds for me, that I treasure.

My best frd and I both love aeroplane, especially the jumbo 747, and so make this logo for ourselves. Yes, it represents us 2. No luggage and hand-carry pls. Don't worry where we will go finally. Just broad it. Enjoy your own trip, just like I enjoy mine.

I go to Warehouse with Mr.Rice & Mr.Baker tonite.

2005-10-30T06:00:00.000+08:00

Warehouse is not a good place, it contains so many things inside, some even u won't expect.

In the 1st night of my long holiday, I go to N's dad's warehouse alone (which we store our unused stuffs there), after watching my team Hotspur's north-london-derby draw with Arsenal (My team should win it, holy!).

The warehouse locates in somewhere so far away, I have gone there totally third time already but still have to check the map to arrive. It's inside a old broken industrial building. I remember the first time I go there with my frd Detective(he's a man with the same age to me, i.e. over 30 already), he rushed away coz he think there's ghost inside the old building and he's frightened (at over 30 still feel scared, u will know how bad there is). At the end, that's a building u won't want to visit, once u have visited.

But I have to go. I want to pick out some old books, old winter clothings and some sneakers I love so much in the past.

From the boxes that we wrote stupid words on top, I not only pick out the stuffs, I pick out emotions of the past at the same time. Everything seems just like being packed and stored inside there seconds ago. Old clothings seems still warm. Time seems freezed inside the warehouse, like it's 2003 or even older.

So, this time, I start to like this old broken building--at least it treasures everything old, and keep them silently in good condition.

When I am inside the warehouse, my iPod gives me Damien Rice's "Cheers Darlin", and when I am on the way home, it gives me Chet Baker's "The Thrill Is Gone". My iPod always shuffles songs wisely.

I want being in holiday to be my life-long job.

2005-10-29T05:14:00.000+08:00

你看過了許多美景
你看過了許多美女
你迷失在地圖上每一道短暫的光陰

你品嚐了夜的巴黎
你踏過下雪的北京
你熟季書本裡每一句你最愛的真理

卻說不出你愛我的原因
卻說不出你欣賞我哪一種表情
卻說不出在哪一種場合我曾讓你動心
說不出離開的原因

你累計了許多飛行
你用心挑選紀念品
你蒐集了地圖上每一次的風和日麗

你擁抱熱情的島嶼
你埋葬記憶的土耳其
你流連電影裡美麗的不真實的場景

卻說不出你愛我的原因
卻說不出你欣賞我哪一種表情
卻說不出在哪一種場合我曾讓你分心
說不出旅行的意義

你勉強說出你愛我的原因
卻說不出你欣賞我哪一種表情
卻說不出在哪一種場合我曾讓你分心
說不出離開的原因

勉強說出你為我寄出的每一封信
都是你離開的原因
你離開我
就是旅行的意義

My iPod 3G.

2005-10-27T22:20:00.000+08:00

I am an iPod-mania, just like many of my friends. Steve Jobs is not only the cleverest businessman/artist I ever get known, but also my biggest idol. We not only use iPod just for listening songs, we treasure it, coz it's the identity card for the "Jobs religion".

When iPod 5G (i.e. the one with bigger and better monitor, and can play video) launched last 2 weeks, I have planned to sell my old 3G (which is a gift to me by N in 2003) and buy the new thinner and better one. At the end, I changed my mind, and find that I just love my old one.

Something, like songs, movies, clothes, wordings, furniture as well as gadgets, locks a page of your history. I don't mean I miss that particular period of time and want to chase it back, I don't and I can't. Just that, my old iPod locks some happiness and so it is not only an iPod now. I don't know if u all understand that, maybe I am writing not precise enough here.

When Apple introduced iPod 1G, some reporter asked Steve Jobs: "Why your new little toy get scars on it so easily?"
Steve Jobs answered witty and precisely: "When you buy it, it's your little toy then. The scars on it, are the history only between u and him. Who other cares?"
That's it.

My long-awaited holiday comes next week. I want to spend all the time for the 4-doggies-reunion, with music from my old little toy.

A real good show.

2005-10-21T01:29:00.000+08:00

Comedian is the best job, coz he can look at people's happiness when he's earning a living. U work hard, they laugh hard, and u r happy in return. What else is better than that in the world?

I join a really good show tonite, that can let me meet all old frds and mentors and relax for some time. I can feel everyone is really happy there. Even the air smile when u breath them in. And I see love there. That's something we missed out unintentionally.

A good nite let me think of many important things, a good nite I won't forget. 20/10/05.

Winning Eleven, a love story.

2005-10-19T02:23:00.000+08:00

Hope what I am working hard now, will be listened by all of u in the coming january.

An important trip.

2005-10-12T23:34:00.000+08:00

Someday in the past we failed with our trip, we go again. And there's so many happened to us during this trip, we must be enjoying.

My best frd and I go to that somewhere at morning, the day b4 we just have some 3 hrs sleeping time. Tired body wont disturb us for our long-expected new beginning. We go for our future, just like we can forgone everyone and everything in the past, only for a new chance and a new place to visit. It's a road movie for us 2. I love road movie when I am young.

After so many happened to us in our trip, we got some rest for about 1.5 hrs with 221182. They are good persons too. We enjoy our time very very much. Then we continue our trip. It's 20 hrs non-stop trip. We walk, walk and walk. We did many and forget a whole lot many. That's the main purpose of the trip. Then, we are totally new persons now.

Hello all, nice to meet u.

Free will.

2005-10-09T01:00:00.000+08:00

Free will is a religious term that I learned from my university class. And yes, everyone of us has the free will, that we can choose to do things we want (no matter it's morally wrong), and don't do something we hate (no matter it's morally so right).

I treasure my own free will more and more when I am older. There's no point to push myself to do something I don't want. And my time should be used on something I want and enjoy, on the condition that I don't disturb others. I believe it deep as my own norm.

Tomorrow I will be in somewhere u won't know. It's the beginning of a new trip of mine. A totally new trip, that happened to me so fast I never predict it will happen. It's good for me and my future. A totally new way of thinking.

I must thank, yes, I really must thank someone who think me as some naive animal. For without that one, the new good trip will never happened to me.

The world is somewhere bitter. But we have the free will to leave that part and try other taste.

Doggy and money.

2005-10-05T23:19:00.000+08:00

Pls remember there's only 2 things around u, which will never lie to u.

1, Doggy,

2, Money.

I only trust them, and I only love them.

I hope boys will play together very soon. They r just lovely and important to me.

2005-10-04T21:34:00.000+08:00

P.S. N, pls pick rightly, don't trust so easily. Cas and Ces are besides u, they are trustworthy. Hope u are well.

September ends, then October comes, naturally.

2005-10-03T22:11:00.000+08:00

Friends told me from tomorrow on, the temperature will be lower a lot. Of coz I am glad if what they said are true. At least it will bring me back the autumn. I hate the hot september.

Many changes for me recently. No good or bad inside, changes are just changes. I am much stable as a person finally.

*******

Want to write more, but I think and think, then find that nothing worth to write. Hope everyone is happy. Next time, when I don't know what to write, I post lovely Carter and Curtis pix, ok?

5 doggy boys happy reunion.

2005-09-28T21:58:00.000+08:00

Yes, there's 5, not 4 boys. Carter, Curtis, Casey Ceska are all here. So do Cory. They occupied the whole corner.

I love this sentence I find today.

2005-09-25T23:46:00.000+08:00

Sunday's newspaper is worth to read. I find this famous sentense that's written so good by one of my idol writer:

"If ever memory has a smell, it is the scent of camphor, sweet and cosy like remembered happiness, sweet and forlorn like forgotten sorrow."

*******

I didn't learn what I want and who I want from the gone summer of this year. But I learned what I don't want and who I don't want in return. That's good for me, at least I learned something clearly and thoughtfully, without regretness.

*******

Casey and Ceska left me after one week vacation with me. They r just lovely. N's back from trip and take them back. N's lovely too. Hope she's happy and far away from childish mistakes. I miss days with Carter, Curtis, Cory, Casey and Ceska altogether.

To grow, is to learn how to keep my mouth shut.

2005-09-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

Work has already makes me exhausted.

My September, My 6 boys.

2005-09-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

I decided to stop this blog at last Tuesday midnight as I think it's really meaningless to write trashy words anymore. But I failed, coz I want to continue to write about my 6 doggy boys, Eddy (dead in 2002), Carter, Curtis, Cory (dead in Nov 2003), Casey, Ceska and my own life. At the end, it's my blog, Chet Chan's own blog, right? That's what I think finally.

*******

N's birthday is on the coming Monday, she told me she will go with her mum to their motherland (that they are Spainish-mix), from today to coming wednesday. Of coz I know it's not the truth. She goes trip with her one I know. I didn't told her that I know she's lying. I keep my mouth shut. She ask me if she can put Casey and Ceska in my flat. I answer Yes without second thinking, I miss Casey and Ceska so much I want to live with them for some days. Then, when I got back from work at 430am, I got up at early morning, to get Casey boy and Ceska boy. They miss me so much too. And now 4 brothers are on my flat. Though it's troublesome for other people, I feel really happy with them 4 (though they are really troublesome indeed...), especially when they lick me kiss me wholeheartedly. They are my good boy.

*******

This month, my bro has to take his last professional course, and I have to give him quite a lot of money to continue his ambition. I am his bro, of course I must give him all he wants. And my new wallet, which bought me from Japan from my best friend, has not much left. It's only the middle of the month, and my situation is not so good actually.

*******

I have told u all, that my 5-yr-old imac is very sick b4. He's better for last week, but I know he isn't. He died this week, exactly on Wednesday morning. Maybe he knows I may not need him anymore at home. Maybe he treats me so well that he allows me to copy all the data and files out before his real death. Anyway, he's dead, and he treats me well in these 5 years time. I must thank him.

*******

I read a lot these days. I read after I pull my exhausted body to my flat after work. I read before I sleep. I read when morning comes. I read when I am in MTR and taxi. I read Lawrence Block's fictions and I read Monster the comix. I enjoy them a lot, especially when I dont want to go out drink. I prefer drink by my own at my flat silently. One of my best friends send me the song "Firework at the end of the century" the canton pop song, and I am listening to it all the time.

*******

Many wordings I forget and some wordings I remember for life. The problem is, the wordings I remember very very clear in my mind, are all real bad wordings. I want to forget them all, but the harder I try to forget, the deeper I remember them all. I want them leave me totally, but seems they love me so much , stay with me and haunted me.

*******

That's a SMS I want to send out but I control myself and instead, I send to my own: I suddenly think of the night u wait me till 5am and felt asleep at the corner seat, I wake u up, that's a Saturday night. Then we take taxi to somewhere, u eat breakfast. It maybe happened in June 05. Or maybe I remember wrong. Or maybe I am drunk now it's just my imagine. I forget which version is true now.

*******

From the very first beginning till today, it's exactly 4 mothes time now. The starting time is 17/05/05 and it's already 17/09/05. Up and down, rollercoaster trip, and typhoon visits us today. Hope typhoon blows hard enough to erase everything completely, then rain heavily, then everyone is cleaned and has a new good start. Though I don't think I have such a luck to be cleaned completely myself.

*******

To grow, is to learn how to keep my mouth shut.

*******

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival, especially for the one who love Mid-Autumn Festival.

Bathing dogs.

2005-09-13T02:10:00.000+08:00

At the end, I bath Carter and Curtis tonight. I can go out play, but I choose to bath them.

Carter asks : Papa, will she goes up help u bath us as what u said?
I answer : Silly, she wont and she may not anymore.
Curtis : Does she hate us so much? I like to be with her like b4. She likes us also.
I say : Everything has an expiry date. Expired is expired. Simple. She has her own happy life.
Carter goes into bathroom without saying anymore. He is a good boy. He keeps silent during I bath him. Carter is the big bro, he knows what I mean.

Next, Curtis the gentle boy.

When I bath him, he asks : Papa, r u sad?
I answer precisely hope he won't get hurted too : No, I am happy, silly. I am happy I got u 2 besides me. And I enjoy bath u 2, that I can really concentrate on 1 simple thing--to make u 2 clean enough. U know papa likes simple thing. It's very meaningful to me already. So I am happy. I am happy that u 2 r so real to me, wholeheartedly.

We 3 have a happy nite, hugging each other tight to sleep, Carter and Curtis smell good, though I am exhausted inside and outside.

(P.S. I have told u I have the ability to talk to doggies. And what I wrote above, r all real things. U may treat me as a psycho, but I am not. They 2 know.)

Weird dream.

2005-09-12T03:50:00.000+08:00

I dream of u at friday nite, a concrete dream I must write it down.

We are at a corner of a kitchen in a house, where it is I don't know. It's a crowded house as everyone is in the dining part outside the kitchen. I found U cut yr hair quite a lot already, just like we didn't meet each other for some yrs already.

We are in the kitchen, I touch yr right ear just like b4. U stare at me and stay silent gently, the meaning I don't know. And then I push myself don't wake but turnout woke at once and found it's already 1230pm at saturday. Weird enough?

Come on, it's not an erotic dream u all think of. Never.

Gentle boy.

2005-09-11T00:38:00.000+08:00

Holy, I am fucking happy.

2005-09-10T05:55:00.000+08:00

Don't expect I will write anything abt u tonite, I am holy fucking happy, holy fucking carefree, and nothing to worry, not one second I am worrying now. And so I won't write about u tonight.

The world is so good and perfect for me, I really praise what the world makes for me. I am really fucking happy.

And yes, as u know, I am a fucking big mouth trashy jerk at the end of the day. Your judgement is so very precise and concrete, ok?

I use 7 fucking words and 3 oks, I can count coz I am not drunk. I enjoy my teeth bite each other hard actually, ok, so I must be a fucking guy. U waste your 1 minute looking at my blog now.

Pls understand clearly, I am fucking happy and satisifed, so do u, ok?

EK.

2005-09-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

Last night I have some strange experience during dining and talking with EK.

What EK shown me and talked to me may change my life totally, towards another direction.

I must thank him for all of that. He transfers many of his cleverness to me, when I am so very confusing and sad in different aspects of my life: relationship, work, family, everything not fine seems come to me at the same time recently.

And when I can organize everything thoughtfully in my mind, I will write down all he shown me last night, just hope u will learn from them too.

Life's still hard for me, teeth still bite each other hard. Let time tell.

I have a good night, finally.

2005-09-07T02:58:00.000+08:00

Wake at 930am suddenly yesterday (if u know who i am, u will know how weird this happened for me), and some thought come to my mind. Many times when I am very confusing, some thought just go into my mind directly. I am lucky enough. And I say Yes to my thought. Yes, thing should be like this. Simple but not messy. I just love simple thing.

Then after work, meet N at night. She's the most important one for me for many years. We have good food, good drinks and good talk. I treasure how she treats our relationship. We broke sadly, hurting each other deeply, and turnout we still can be like this, what's more can I ask for?

N, like me, makes many many poor decisions after we broke. Pick the wrong ones, turnout hurting ourselves stupidly. It's time we should turn our new page and not to be hurted by others again. We are both grown ones already. If u r watching, hope u understand.

And then I can put down many many things finally, even something I rate the most important in the past. Maybe I can go cinema again, even I am going alone.

Hangover's solution.

2005-09-06T06:02:00.000+08:00

Hangover is the state that u drank a lot and wake up wif your headache and yr mind just so dizzy. I drank much more than u all these years, so pls pay some attention on what I write down here. I am not an expert, the world is not around me, I am not pround ok, I just have some experience, and U need it.

1) drink MILK when u wake.

If u hate milk just like me (I never drink milk when I am a baby that my mum told me, of coz she think I am weird enough), drink some hk style milk-tea. It really helps and will wakes u up within 15 mins time. I know your fringe may have no milk, just go down supermarket, buy it, and drink it.

2) if your headache is serious, go drug store around yr corner, buy a pack of pill called NUROFEN.

It's the best pain-stopping pill in the world confirmed by expert doctors, and it's a safe pill, and it's introduced to me by my ex that she's a pill expert. Buy NUROFEN 400, just take 1 pill, within 20 mins, your headache problem is solved then.

3) call yr important ones and talk to them. Conversations help really. It makes u relax and solve your problem, mentally.

I use all 3 above mentioned methods when I am drunk and hangover in the past. Within this year I use the first 2 and it helps me a lot already.

I can only write down these. Hope it helps.

Children are Kings, but I am not.

2005-09-05T02:43:00.000+08:00

I don't specially rate what the trendy magazine did, even though I came from that scene.

But the scheme named "Children are Kings" draws my attention. Yes, children, as we all know they r our future, we want them to be better, no matter what part we can help, we help. Of coz that scheme may only be just another trashy slogan that makes nothing, I dont know, but at least it draws my attention. Just like the much bigger scale meaningful UNICEF always makes me pay attention.

So when children, like my naughty nephews, do something wrong, I will told them not to do it. Children, of coz, won't listen to, and do it again, and I will told them again, I will urge them again wholeheartedly. That's the right of children should have. I will never doubt it. Children's crying, just like lovely doggies asking, always melt my heart. Then one day child is grown, and he will bear lessons in mind for his life.

But we are grown ones. We may have no one single chance to amend what we did wrong. I can't ask a rock or a stone or a metal or a wood to give me one more one more chance, coz they all won't. They are just rock stone metal and wood. They really won't grant me any more chance. I can only blame myself, keep silent and wait the rock stone metal and wood finally will learn some language and understand what I am saying.

But maybe stone rock metal and wood are all rushed away by waves already, before they understand clearly about my asking.

In this point, I wish I am still a child. But I am not.